You Choose: Victim or Victor

By November 5, 2018 No Comments

Episode #86

I believe we have two options in life when it comes to negative experiences or circumstances: we can choose to pity ourselves and play victim, or forgive the situation and become the victor.

In this episode, I share my experience of overcoming a negative experience and finally being able to release it and forgive it. It took me 29 years to completely forgive a situation that happened to me when I was just four years old.

When I was four, I was sexually abused by an older cousin. To say the least, it fucked me up for years and created a rift in my family because some believed there was no way it could be true. I carried this shame and guilt and resentment with me into my 20’s when it came to relationships. I felt that some sex acts were gross and dirty and the only way I had sex with guys was to be intoxicated.

It wasn’t until 2016 when I began my forgiveness journey. I watched the Tony Robbins I’m Not Your Guru on Netflix, and something clicked. I remember feeling empowered and relieved and I sent a group text to family members bringing the situation to light, that it did happen and I was ready to let go and move on.

In 2017, I was with a guy I had known for over a decade – someone I felt completely safe and comfortable with, and finally able to be intimate without be intoxicated. This was a huge hurdle I had finally overcome. I was no longer letting that event from years ago keep me in victim mode.

In 2018, I had a final breakthrough. It was at a Tony Robbins event, on the last day, the last exercise where we were guided through a meditation. We were to visualize ourself in an open field and someone was walking towards us. It felt like forever, but that someone was finally approaching and then I knew, it was my four year old little self. I got down on my knees, crying tears of release and joy and hugged that little girl. I let her know she was safe and it wasn’t her fault.

Forgiveness will set you free. Forgiveness does not right the other persons wrongs, but it releases you and peace is what you deserve. What circumstance or event do you need to let go of? Where are you playing victim? Perhaps the person needing to be forgiven is yourself.


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