The Lesson is In The Trigger
Emeroy Bernardo joins me this week to share how he has learned to find the lesson in the trigger. Emeroy has grown leaps and bounds in the last few years by taking responsibility for his life and actions. Previously, he had no work/life balance and had negative inner dialogue.
Find the balance
He has completely changed his life by learning the fine balance of aligned action and embracing the need to take rest. But, it wasn’t always this way. Emeroy is passionate about his work, being a dad and his love for dancing. In order to develop a self care practice, he now wakes at 3:30am every day.
His former perspective was: waking up early sucks. Now he believes the early bird gets the worm. By waking up early, taking care of himself and his desires, he has a jumpstart on each day. Most importantly, he balances the need to work hard and rest hard.
Power of presence
It was on a hike with his son that he had an eye opening experience. Like many of us who are always focused on the destination or end goal, he had a realization – a lesson learned from his son – it’s about the power of presence and truly enjoying the journey.
Emeroy shared a profound message – just because you’re not there yet (end goal) doesn’t mean you won’t get there. His son reminded him the power of having childlike curiosity and to stop and enjoy the view.
Run towards your triggers
We all have triggers. It’s important to know what pushes your buttons and rather than avoiding or resisting the emotions, take a step back and find the lesson. The resistance you feel is an emotional response of a deeper rooted cause. If you can find the lesson in the trigger, it no longer has power over you.
What I loved about Emeroy’s sharing in his anger management journey is the simple acronym HALT that can be used when you feel triggered. Stop and think: am I hungry? Am I angry? Am I lonely? Or, am I tired? If any of these emotions are present, stop in your tracks, take a breath and come back to it when you’re calm.
For most of us, when triggered we want to avoid the emotion at all cost. Instead, run towards it. More often than not, the trigger is just outside of our comfort zone which is where the gift can be found. The key in all of this is learning how to process emotions. And even more important, process, understand but don’t live there.
To listen in to the full episode, click below.